champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
