remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Alive.
So much puke
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Randomize
