Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
