I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
