No awkward lesbian experiences without me
too bad you live with your parents still
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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