Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
He did a backflip because drugs
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
