if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
No subtext here. People are naked.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
You need Xanax blowdarts
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Randomize
