So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
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