I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Your cock deserves a montage
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
