I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
