ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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