At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
