brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
