I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Randomize
