Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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