he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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