He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
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