just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
