Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
