you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
