Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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