wrigley field is MILF paradise
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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