Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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