dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I forget how to act sober
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
