A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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