Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
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