Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize