So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Randomize
