At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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