"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
