I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
