everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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