And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
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