Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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