also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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