i'm lost and i look like a hooker
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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