I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
We had sex on a dog bed..
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
