New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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