sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
