his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
