Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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