You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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