did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I think I am morally bankrupt
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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