Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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