He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
