im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
