census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Randomize
