i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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