Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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