I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
