dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Randomize
