If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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