Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
