But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
