Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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