She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
