im holly from the hills drunk
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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