Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
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