what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Randomize
