I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
