Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
