I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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