when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Randomize
