Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
