YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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