Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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